Do you know what its like to be miserable? Truly utterly miserable. Like even though you are in the middle of a public place you just want to cry in a corner and have every single person in the entire wold just go jump off a fucking cliff.
I’m not talking about miserable in the ‘upset’ sense. Like in a passing, if a loved one passes away, that’s distraught. I’m talking miserable. Like huge cloud is hanging over your head waiting for something good to happen so it can soak up all your happiness and take it away, because fuck you.
If you’ve read some of my posts today you may think me Bi-Polar. I was ‘happy’ before. I may have even used the word ‘Elated’ in a post. Premature friends. you know me. I’m back in all my impressively and extensively depressing ways hating on the universe again for making me exist. Hey. Come pity me because i have to put up with the scum of the earth and smile while i do it.
You know what the worst part about being miserable is? like there’s a worst part but whatever. Society doesn’t accept it. Apparently, no, I’m not allowed to have a huge mental breakdown wherever i may be when I realise that life actually is an abysmal pit of horror and unending trivialities.
WHY CANT I JUST WALLOW IN THE NEVER-ENDING OBLIVION THAT IS MY BLACKED HEART?!
Why does the world insist I continue with this charade of happiness and ‘togetherness’
I don’t want to. I want to sulk and be a little girl and not go to work and not pay bills and just NOT. I hate it I hate it all wahh whine whinge.
Aren’t I just the epitome of everything wonderful?
At least for the moment