Testing My Amazing Talents

So I was indulging in a little time reading ‘Freshly Pressed’ You know what I’m talking about. See I call it indulging because for some reason (It could be my arrogantly hipster Melbourne roots) I enjoy reading blogs that are far less mainstream. It hurts I know. I don’t do these things on purpose, trust me. I’m not trying to be hipster, i just, gah! whatever. Hate me. even more because to prove I’m not ‘hipster’ I like One Direction* yes the ‘band’, hate me even more. But I’m tangent-ing.

Oh you don’t even know how great of a segway that is. This post is about a new way for me to tangent. Get excited people. Tangents rock. And now i can organise my tangents in these cool little ‘pages’ tabs down the bottom. Yay funess. Isn’t it great how my normally depressing demeanor is completely eradicated when there’s something new and fun to play with. Get me a puppy!

Sorry. So yes. Tangents.* Oh speaking of tangents (moment to love that segway) i was saying earlier how i indulged in Freshly Pressed, the reasoning will be on a following page. If it works. I realise that this post is incredibly indulgent but hey, that’s your fault for reading a blog entitled My amazing talents. So you sort of set yourself up for that didn’t you. Well Done.

So yeah… I cant label the pages yet, cause contrary to popular belief I did not study at the perfect school for perfect people. So i shall leave a little guide at the bottom. Also that means you can skip the pages you don’t like. specifically my One Direction page. I know you. You’ll skip it.

Page 1. This page… i assume

Page 2. One Direction

Page 3. Freshly Pressed

Page 4. Tangents

Stick a Fork in Me, I’m Done

Have you ever had that feeling, deep down in the pit if your stomach that something just isn’t right? I can tell you what that is.

Hunger.

If you expect me to go on some magical discovery with you as to the meaning if this ‘ambitious’ hunger, you have come to the wrong blog. The wonders and majesty of the world is lost in the hollow pit of oblivion that is my rather negative outlook on our human existence.

I mean real hunger. Like make me a burger, slather on some sauce and hand me a coke because if I don’t get to chomp on the carcass of a dead animal soon I’m going to cut off your hand and chow down on that bad boy.

Seriously. What happened to ‘I’m hungry’ why do I have to eat when work says ‘you may take a break now’
Even hitler let his soldiers eat when they were hungry.
I assume.

I can’t say I know for sure, but his soldiers seemed pretty devoted so I assume it has something to do with his less than strict food regime. Or maybe he bribed them with cookies. Maybe we’ll never know. One of the great mystery of life, you know?

No. That’s not me pondering on the majesty of existence. Get your head out of the proverbial gutter you swine and come wallow in the agonising pain that is an unquenchable hunger for real god damn food.

Preferably something that has had a heartbeat at one stage in its noble life.

Sorry vegos. I’m a hardcore carnivore with a taste for rare steaks and the flesh of things that once felt something likeable to affection.

Mmm delicious feelings.

Hate me if you want but I am hungry, and you can’t judge a person by their behaviour while hungry. That’s just inhumane.

Forever yours,

At least for the moment.

x

Failure

Today’s Random Obsession is: Failure

Failure is the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and may be viewed as the opposite of success.

Pretty much, in short ‘Failure’ is screwing up.  I can say it more, or less, colourfully, but either which way it will normally be seen in the most negative of views. Because it has negative connotations I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how it is viewed. Do people enjoy Failure? is that something they want or need in their life? Is failure, however helpful of detrimental you see it, useful to the growth of a person’s character?

“Life is full of Screw-ups. You’re supposed to fail sometimes. It’s a required part of the human existence” – Sarah Dessen, ‘Along for the Ride’

How true is what Dessen is saying? If someone goes through life and fails at nothing are they worse off or better off than someone who goes through life, only failing. I realise this is a pretty extreme case. I cannot think of a single person who has either never failed or only failed in every aspect of their life. But say, in this wonderful world we call the hypothetical, it happened. Say you meet two people, one the Succeeder, who has never experience a single failure in their entire life, and the other the Failure, who has only ever tasted the bitterness so many of us associate with failures. What would they be like? What would they do, who would the be?

Today’s Random Obsession Post: I Am Addicted To Failure..

My twenty-two cents:

I hate failure. I am terrified of failure. Oh dear god no, do not ask me to colour in between the lines, what if i **** it up?! Ok so my fear of failure perhaps isn’t as obvious as that. Nor does it have that kind of massive affect on everyday life. You’d be surprised how often I’m asked to colour in the lines. Unless you say not often. And then you wouldn’t be surprised, you’d be correct. Regardless. Failure is a terrifying aspect of trying. I love saying I’d give anything a go. I’m the girl at the sushi  train with the plethora of plates with foods I cant pronounce let alone spell, and I’ll have tried everything on the menu. I can’t see how you fail at that, you don’t like something its not your fault. I’ll try and do out-there things because in those situations people expect failure. Can you scale a 6 story building with a blindfold and your hands tied behind your back? No? Neither can I. I think my fear comes from expectation of success. I expect to succeed at something and then when I fail I am gutted. And with my pride somewhat substantially deflated I turn my head and cower and ask myself, why you babbling fool, did you fail? How could you be so useless? and other mean things that you seem to think are ok to ask yourself, though you would never utter to another human being in fear of them actually having a 7 foot boyfriend to ‘pummel yo’ ass’. It happens. I don’t know. I think I could go on forever about how I will do everything in my power not to fail. Including not even try. But that holds its own kind of Failure, which is described brilliantly in the attached Random Obsession Post. Till next time my fleeting feelings overcome me with the need to let the internet know how I’m feeling…

Participation award: What is your biggest failure? did it make you a better person?

Forever yours,

Or at least for the moment. 

x